8 Purposeful Ways to Become More Self-Aware

Candice Kingston

One of the major obstacles to maximizing your success and happiness is a lack of self-awareness. You know your friends’ flaws better than they do. I love the analogy, you can’t read the label from inside the bottle. It’s human nature to not have an accurate view of yourself. 

We’d rather stick our heads in the sand and remain oblivious to our shortcomings. We’d prefer to believe that we’re unlucky rather than taking the wrong approach.

This presents a huge challenge, because if you can’t see yourself and your behaviors accurately, how can you grow and evolve optimally?

If you’re brave enough to develop a keen sense of self-awareness, you’ll be more likely to have a successful and fulfilling life.

Try these techniques to learn more about yourself:

  • List your values. Taking an hour to identify and prioritize your values will tell you a lot about yourself. We all think we know our values, yet can’t rattle them off when asked. You’re bound to find a few surprises if you take the time to do this exercise.
  • Write down your goals. Defining what you’d like to have, do, and experience (or who you’d like to be) in your life is also very revealing. Most of us are too busy surviving from one day to the next to consider our goals. Make time to determine the type of life you want to experience, and you’ll become more self-aware. This is obviously more relevant right now with the New Year, but this can be done at any time.
  • Take personality tests. There are many personality and aptitude tests available online, many of them for free. Take these tests and see what they have to say about you. Before dismissing anything that seems way off base, really think about it. Then, ask a close friend if they think the assessment is accurate. I have one I offer that is basically a “self-awareness assessment.” It helps you identify where you spend most of your day in terms of energetic level (or emotion) and how to shift to the next level for peak performance.
  • Identify the traits in others that bother you. What do you dislike about others? What does this say about you? Try to be objective and see if you have these same traits. This happens all the time with me when people are late! Urgh… oh wait, I was the one who was late? Oops! We are often turned off by people that exhibit characteristics we don’t like in ourselves. 

How self-aware are you? Do you know how others view you? Do you understand your flaws? What are your greatest strengths? In what type of environment do you thrive? What are your values? What are your goals? How did you contribute to the failure of your past relationships.

If you can’t answer these questions quickly and easily, developing greater self-awareness will benefit you. Until you understand yourself well, your life will appear to be determined by forces beyond your control.

Become more self-aware and regain mastery over your life!


 The Key to Harnessing Focus  

Candice Kingston

What is so important about focus anyway? 

Focus is an amazing tool for superior performance. If you are an athlete, you may call it “being in the zone.”  

Focus clarifies and defines what is most important. It illuminates what your next best move is and helps creates priorities.  

We really are at an all-time high and get our best work done when we are able to focus.  

Work feels effortless and we may even lose a little time by being so in flow.  

When we lose focus, on the other hand, our performance and concentration suffer. We lose clarity and everything starts to blend into each other.  

We are unable to find our path and figure out what is truly important. Everything starts to seem like a priority.  

We know that not everything can be a priority so then we are just stuck and unable to figure out what to do next so we sit on the couch.  

For some people, the challenge is to figure out which things are priorities. We may get easily distracted.  

The thing is, it’s not about never losing focus, but recognizing when your attention is faltering and bring it back to your task at hand.  

I think of meditating like this. I try not to focus while meditating, but it is still similar in that when my thoughts go crazy, I bring them back to my mantra.  

Focus is like that, when you are off course, bring it back to your task.  

This is the key to harnessing your focus.  

What helps you focus? Comment below. 

Durango

Candice Kingston

How I never fit in...  

I am going to get a little vulnerable with you… right off the bat! 

Corporate life was a struggle for me. I spent many years trying to fit in and find my way in a field I had absolutely no passion for.

Now, I know, I know, passion/smassion... sometimes you just need to go to work and get a paycheck, right? NO! This is where we have been getting it all wrong.

 I was so uncomfortable and anxiety-ridden at work all day that I would be exhausted every night and had very little left to give to my family 

My creativity suffered, my identity suffered, my soul suffered. I wasn't doing anything for self-care. I gained 30+ pounds. I ate crap. I was so depressed.

I put up with a toxic boss because I thought that was what a good working girl would do. I never complained to HR about being sexually harassed by a co-worker because I thought I would be the one to get fired.

I knew deep down that wasn't true but I was trying so hard to make it work that I just couldn't be the one to call it quits. I thought I was doing them a favor by staying through the 4th quarter and helping them through the busy season.

I would suck it up a little longer and then quit. I had done my best, which I can honestly say was like saying doing my best at building an airplane, I sucked at it and hated myself for sucking at it, but hated it so had no desire to learn more or care more... sound familiar?

And then, just like countless jobs before and after... I was fired. I was more upset that my boss had beat me to the punch than I was at getting fired. I wanted to be the one to quit!

Well, when you are fired as many times as I have been, you have to start taking a look in the mirror and seeing what the real issue is. What is the common denominator? It was me, obv.

But it wasn't just ME. It was me trying to stay small. It was me afraid to step out of my comfort zone (or uncomfortable zone to a more uncomfortable zone ha!) and do the thing that I had been dreaming about.

It meant a long hard look at what it would take to step into a life I had always dreamt of, even if sometimes I couldn't exactly articulate what that dream was 

I had no intention of writing this long post. I'm on the way out the door and just happened to get a glance at my FB memory of a business trip to Durango that came up and literally felt it all come back to me.

I'll just leave it with this because this is my mission. I want to help people, not just people, but YOU, find YOUR fit. You may have read this story and thought it was nothing like you until you realized that, yeah, you HAVE been playing small and staying safe. You've been hiding because you are afraid of failing, or - cray as it sounds, afraid of succeeding - because then, you'd have to make changes - climb further, try even harder for the next thing.

If I am speaking to you right now, and you are stuck and just not sure what to do about it, or maybe you have the goal, the big dream, and just don't know the first step... let's chat. I'd love to help you get back on track.

Step up. Just send me a quick message on LI or email me. I see you. Let me listen.


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About the Author

WHO I AM

I'm a mom, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a friend...  

I am a recovering Health Insurance Broker and Account Manager with Imposter Syndrome, always trying to fit a round peg in a square hole that now helps others match their professions and businesses (and lives!) to who they truly are and SURGE ahead.  

​I'm an entrepreneur, a dreamer, a big picture thinker, and an energetic being ready to inspire the masses and help you become the you you were meant to be. 

MY MISSION

To put an end to people hiding behind masks, denying themselves the pleasure of being who they really are, playing small and staying in ill-fitting roles instead of stepping into their greatness and owning their power.  

To help business owners stop doing "all the things" and be able to step into their power as leader.  

To help all people realize that leadership starts with first leading yourself. Everyone is a leader.